Reading Plan:
Genesis 2:22-24

Author: Kyle Warren

I'll never forget being at a wedding ceremony and hearing a pastor describe marriage as an act of "leaving and cleaving." In marriage, a husband and wife leave their parents and cleave to one another. Cleave (a little King James language) means to cling or hold fast to. I'm all for some good rhyming or alliteration when it comes to writing or public speaking. A lot has been said about the importance of making big ideas easy to remember. Leaving and cleaving obviously did the trick in my memory bank.

While I remember the rhyme, I don't really remember a lot about what it means to actually leave one in order to cling to the other. Western culture in a lot of ways has made the "leaving" of Genesis 2 mean "leaving behind." In marriage, I leave behind my relationships with my parents and family in order to design my own nuclear family. However, in the rural south where you are more likely to build a house on the hill beside "momma and 'em" than you are to move out of state, it is pretty hard to leave behind family ties.

Hang with me here, but I don't believe the heart of the Bible's teachings on marriage is to "leave behind" parents or family. The command in Exodus 20, which is repeated in Ephesians 6, to honor your father and mother doesn't seem to have an expiration date on it. In 1 Timothy 5 Paul has some pretty harsh words for people who do not provide for the needs of their relatives in vulnerable states. There, he is specifically addressing widows and the elderly. It is pretty hard to honor and care for the needs of people who you have left behind. Family in scripture tends to be a broader picture than just husband, wife, and two kids. Family refers to the people who we have a responsibility to care for both physically and spiritually.

So, back to leaving and cleaving in Genesis 2. When we take into account the full narrative of God's word, then the idea of "leaving" begins to look more like "leaving dependence upon" and not just "leaving behind." There is no doubt a shift occurs in marriage. Our spouse has to become our primary responsibility to care for and nurture. Genesis goes so far as to say that by neglecting a spouse, you are neglecting your own self- "the two have become one flesh." There is a shift that occurs from depending on our parents to the realization that our spouse and kids now depend on us. Shifting that dependence, however, doesn't mean we have to forsake other relationships.

What would family life in America look like if the church began to see marriage not as a "leaving behind" but as a "leaving dependence upon?" What would happen if we understood family as an ever-evolving tribe of people who care for and depend on one another? I believe it would look like a more complete, robust, and fulfilling family experience.

Reflection & Response:
• Who would you consider as your “family?” In what ways do you depend on them and do they depend on you?
• What can you do this week to make family relationships a priority?

HAVE KIDS?

Use the content below to dive deeper into the Bible Reading Plan with your family.

• God wanted the first people to be like Him, so He created them in His own image. He created the first man, Adam, and breathed His breath of life into him. God created a beautiful world full of plants, animals, birds, and water, but Adam did not have a helper. God knew it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He took a rib from Adam and created the first woman, Eve.

• Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you could do something all by yourself, but then you realized that you actually needed some help? Did you let someone help you?

• Find someone in your life who could use some help this week. Be a good friend and a good helper to them.

• Prayer: God, you are amazing! You know exactly what I need, even when I do not. Thank you for creating me and our whole world! God, help me to be a good helper to those around me. Amen.