Church Hurt

Church Hurt

Author: Nikki Payton
Jul 28, 2023 | 2 Corinthians 1

Begin with 2 minutes of silence and stillness before God.

Before I arrived at Venture, I came from a small country Methodist church built 153 years ago with cinder blocks, wood floors, and traditional pews. My husband’s great-grandparents and grandparents built the church from the sweat of their farm labor. Before the integration of schools in the 1960s, the church converted during the week to a school for black children. Four generations of Paytons are buried behind the church, a testament to their devotion to Christ and the church’s impact on the community.

When my husband and I married, I had hoped this would be our church where we could forge more memories. However, after a decade, it just wasn’t in God’s plans for our family. He had something new and better in mind for us. I left the church with my son while my husband remained. I was consistently being hurt by the actions and words of church members so, I decided to leave for the sake of my spiritual health and my son’s spiritual health.

Today, Paul is writing about being church hurt by his Corinthian brothers - a church he planted, nourished, and watched expand to smaller house churches. He believes his first letter to Corinth was lost because, after a year, there was still no peace or reconciliation. His co-worker in the ministry, Titus, returns to Paul with news that the relationship between Corinth and Paul has fractured even more in the wake of misunderstanding, poor communication, and wrong assumptions.

Paul looks past his own emotional pain, assumptions, and disappointment, and makes another attempt to repair their relationship. He addresses two issues. The first issue Paul addresses is the suffering he endures despite being hand-chosen by Christ to be His apostle. Paul explains that his suffering was in partnership with Christ. Without his suffering, none of the house churches present would exist (2 Corinthians 1:8-11).

Next, Paul defends himself from apparent accusations that he lacks integrity, transparency, and honesty. Some have frivolously charged him with selfishly changing his travel plans. Paul insists that, especially with the Corinthians, he and his team have acted with simple integrity, openness, and sincerity, hiding nothing from them either in person or in his letters. He has been upright and straightforward in all circumstances (2 Corinthians 1:12–14). In fact, in yesterday’s reading, you may recall that Paul wanted them to choose their own elders to supervise the distribution of the benevolence fund, so they would be confident he was not directly benefiting from the money.

He further explains the change of plans was out of love for them and his intention to protect their relationship. If Paul were to come in person, he would have to uncover the depth and breadth of their sin. Paul’s team preferred to delay the visit because the momentary distance would allow them to work efficiently in church matters (2 Corinthians 1:23-24).

I’m here to acknowledge any church hurt that you have experienced, and it’s very difficult to navigate the communication in those relationships as it relates to your obligation to be peaceful with everyone (Romans 12:18). Church hurt is more difficult to recover and heal from because it comes from your most trusted circle, your brothers in Christ.

How can you heal from church hurt? Distance, separate, and stand up:

  • Distance: Physical and emotional distance from toxic or unproductive relationships is biblical.
  • Separate: No matter the circumstances surrounding the church hurt, separate the hurt from God’s character.
  • Stand Up: Reclaim your power by recovering your spiritual practices including prayer, time alone with God in Bible study and meditation, church attendance, volunteerism, and sharing the Gospel (Colossians 3:16). 

Venture was the vessel for God’s healing balm (Jeremiah 46:11). While I don’t celebrate my husband’s recent church hurt has led him to join us at Venture, I’m grateful to worship as a family again. Our church family has already stepped in to support and heal him as well.

Take 2 minutes to reflect in silence. 
Reflection:
  • Pen to paper: If you've experienced church hurt, write down the details - the who, what, when, where, and how. James 5:16 says the key to healing is confession. Put your letter away, pray for God to work in your heart, put a reminder in your calendar, and return to the letter in a year. Notice how far God has brought you, teaching you forgiveness, and changing your perspective about those involved.
  • Prayer: Loving Father, I come to your throne of love, mercy, grace, and light, and I ask for healing from the pain caused by others, whether intentional or unintentional. Forgive me if I have been the cause of hurting others and guide me to paths of reconciliation. Help me to be a vessel of your peace. I pray for my current relationships: family, church, work, and community, that I will be slow to speak and quick to listen. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Family Devo: 2 Corinthians 1  


By: Cindy Oglive  

When partnering with your family to know, love, and follow Jesus, we strive to create and share content filtered by the Head-Heart-Hands model. 

Head: the knowledge of God and His Word | Heart: the personal connection from scripture | Hands: a missional mindset 
Head   

As we start 2 Corinthians, we need to know the W’s. Who, What, When, Where. Paul and Timothy are writing to the Corinth church and the holy people throughout Achaia. Paul is writing from Macedonia around 55 ce. 2 Corinthians starts with Paul praising Christ for comfort. The comfort we have for him and through him. He comforts us so we can comfort others. God is compassionate and comforting in all that we do.   

Heart   

If you are feeling overwhelmed in any situation, then pray to God for comfort. If you are uneasy about something, pray for peace. You don’t have to say it out loud but list out your weaknesses that you need comfort in.   

Hands  

Prayer: Lord, I pray that You would make me comfortable in discomfort. I pray that You take from me all the anxiety or stress that I’m feeling so that all I feel is Your compassion and comfort. Lord. I thank You for all that You do, and I love You. In Jesus’s name, I pray, Amen.

Read More Devos Read Family Devos


Want More?

More Resources

Podcasts

Prayer

Bible Reading Plan

Family Devos