Reading Plan:
James 4:1-12


Asking and Receiving
Author: Gray Strickland


I am pragmatic at heart, and that’s why the book of James is one of my favorite books in the Bible. James, the half-brother to Jesus, writes with a combination of simplicity and urgency. He does not mince words or waste time getting to the point. In chapter 4:1, he sets the tone with a simple question: “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” Pretty good question, right? If we were asked that question, we might have a long list of things that cause disagreements within our relationships, but James reduces our fights and quarrels down to a single root cause. He not only gives us the root cause but also provides the results and the remedy.

The Root- James 4:1-3

Check out the second sentence in verse 1. James says the root of our fighting and quarreling is the “desires” that battle within us. The Greek word for “desire” is where we get the word “hedonism.” What is hedonism? On its basis, it is the desire for what we want, the pursuit of our pleasure above all else. So, James says the root of our relationship struggles is our pursuit of what we want, what we like, and what we desire. James leaves no room for a rebuttal. It is cut and dry; “You desire but do not have...You covet but you cannot get what you want.” In just a few verses he simplifies many of our relationship struggles. James' point? In our relationship struggles, we often look at the other person, but James says we need to take a look at ourselves first. He reminds us to take a look at the “desires that battle within you.”

The Results - James 4:4-6

The results are fairly predictable. When both parties involved are vying for their own desires, fights and quarrels are a natural outcome. In this scenario, there must be a winner and a loser. Nobody wants to be the loser, right? So, we pull out all the stops to win at all costs. I think it's important to note, that not all fights are physical. In fact, many times we can do more damage with our words than we can with our fists. Physical wounds tend to heal much quicker than heart wounds.

The Remedy – James 4:2; 7-10

“You do not have because you do not ask God.” That’s a simple explanation! “So, let me get this straight James, the problem is we don’t get what we want, and the remedy is that we just need to ask for what we want?” James would say, “Yep!” But asking is not as easy as it seems because asking requires two things –submission and humility. We must submit to God, His plan, and His purpose for our lives. This means his desires for us must trump our desires for us. Humility, the second requirement, precedes submitting. We must humble ourselves! Humility is recognizing that we can’t do things on our own and acknowledging that we need help. True submission requires humility. Humility helps us ask with the right motives. This is the remedy! As we humbly submit to God’s plan in our lives, our desires begin to align with his. We are no longer asking for what we want but what God wants in every situation, opportunity, and relationship.

Psalm 37:4 sums this passage up well; “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” As we delight in Him, submit to Him, and seek Him, our hearts change—our desires and requests begin to reflect His will and not ours.


Reflection & Response:

• What area of your life do you need to submit to God?
• Reread Psalm 37:4. What would it look like for you to “delight yourself in the Lord”?
• Prayer: Father, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it! Help me to submit all of my wants and needs to your will. Thank you for loving me enough to give me what I need and not what I want. Thank you for being a good Father who gives good gifts.

Family Application: Asking God for Help
Author: Nichole McCardle

• I don’t know of anyone who enjoys getting into fights or arguments with their friends and family, but disagreements happen to everyone at some point. Have you ever wondered why we fight and argue with the people we love? Well, James 4 tells us that fights and quarrels come from sinful desires. Sinful desires come from not getting what we want and then putting our wants before anything else, even God. That leads to fighting with those who get in the way of what we want. But guess what? We can resist our sinful desires when we pray and ask God to help us. James 4:6 tells us that if we tell God that we need His help, He will pour grace into our lives. How great is it to know that no matter how much WE want something, God’s perfect plan for us is so much greater than we could ever imagine!
• Have you ever wanted something but did not get it? How did you react?
  Verse 8 tells us “Come near to God, and he will come near to you”. What are some ways that you can come near to God today? - You can pray to God, you can turn on worship music and praise Him, you can read your Bible
• Prayer: God, you are so wonderful! Thank you for giving me everything that I need! God, help me to trust You and know that Your plan for my life is perfect. Amen.